force out

ears keep ringing. can’t sleep, sounds like alarm bells in my head. ever since they took me.
pulsing in my brain. slow, sweaty throb. pills and potions offer no relief. ever since I escaped.
not sure why I always end up a prisoner of something, or someone. not that important, surely. not that “special”. but out of the blue I am wrapped in a sack and bundled into a van, or fuzzed into the air by gleaming lights. prodded from both sides, and below. stared at by unblinking eyes.

ears keep ringing and the volume goes up when I try to drown it out. throat dry and sore from yelling to be heard, heard by myself. everyone else can hear, of course – they tell me to shut up, I imagine, but I can’t be sure. maybe they enjoy my screams.

place my hands on my head to see if head genuinely throbbing. unsure if resultant feeling, undeniable movement, is coming from hands or head or brain or mind. doesn’t really matter, suppose.

head into pillow. eyes cram shut. force out.